It's just another bullet point I'll add to my list of unsuccessful things, but since so many people I know are getting in touch with their writing skills, I just had to jump on the bandwagon once more.
So here I am with Blog Attempt #IDK.
I don't know. Maybe the real reason for me starting a blog... is you.
That one day I helped you with chemistry... I took a peek at your AIM profile and there was a link.
Thanks, you got me back into writing again.
And thanks again in advance because I'm pretty sure the only thing I'll be writing about... is you.
Speaking of you,
This weekend, you're all I thought about. Is that annoyingly cheesy? Maybe.
Maybe not if you knew exactly what I was thinking about you.
My mother told me to never like a guy more than he likes you, because then you'll know that he'll never be the one to leave you.
I don't know if I want to believe that or not.
But I feel like it's getting to the point where I like you more.
It's like this,
"I could be standing right next to you,
but somehow, you're still
someplace else."
I wonder if that scares you. Because it scares me. A lot.
My cousin thinks I scared you by saying I was a jealous person. But it's the truth.
You know what's even scarier? It's like I expect myself to get hurt in this relationship.
But I really don't want to feel like that. So I'm going to stop.
I just don't want this to be a half-committed relationship. I don't want to always be the one that starts the conversation, that offers to walk you to class. And I'm not saying that that's what's happening now. I just feel like it's getting there.
So this weekend I talked about you, complained about you, defended you, admired you,
I LIKE YOU.
It was just a whirlwind of you.
I tried to focus on everything else. I tried to figure out what was the most important thing I needed to think about, but I failed. It just kept coming back to you.
Does that mean you're most important right now?
Anyways, today was good though.
Today I actually woke up early... well, actually I couldn't sleep so I just started getting ready at 5:30. I took my time and didn't rush. I wasn't putting on my shoes while brushing my teeth.
I ended up arriving at school before you, too.
I was standing at the usual spot, I saw you walking up from down the hall.
I turned around and pretended to not notice you were there to see how you would greet me.
And I was pretty pleased... a nice hug from behind and a comment about my shoes.
Just let me talk to you now. Tell me about your family, how pissed off you are about school, how happy you are about the weather... or eating, tell me what you had for breakfast. I want to know these things.
I don't want to be a routine. I don't want to be a hi, hug, walk to class, kiss, bye.
But you didn't completely avoid me today. And I was
If that's what I can get from waking up early, then I don't want to sleep at all.
Well that's it for now.
Just remember that I LIKE YOU. I like you.
And I miss you more. [If you miss me at all.]
[PS] I thank God everyday for having a friend like Jennifer. I love her a lot. And I hope her pneumonia goes away NOW.
