Well, not yet anyway.
I wanted so badly for you to disagree and say no, that this wasn't how this was going to be. But I was right! I was so right. You were totally willing to just have me wait patiently until you wanted me around. Like, you'll push me off to the side until you miss me or want to talk to me. Who cares if I want to talk to you right? That won't matter. Everything will only depend on how you're feeling. Oh my god! I never wanted to compare you to him, ever! But, that's like... exactly what he does! I guess you two are more alike than I thought. I didn't want to believe it, but there it is. I still don't want to believe it, but you're making it so hard not to.
What kind of person is okay with just letting someone wait around for them? Like a dog! I'll tell you what kind... a selfish one. It takes so much effort for me to not text you or talk to you on AIM. Did you know that? Probably, because I'm just so gosh darn pathetic right?
Damn! Like... I've been tripping over myself, trying to analyze when it's okay to talk to you, when it's not okay, when I shouldn't because you'll probably get mad because you're busy with your friends or sessioning, when I should because it seems like you're bored and want to talk. OMG! I have to wait for you to be BORED. I totally get it now. I'm just someone you go to when you're bored. When you have nothing else to do, so your last resort is to talk to me. It all makes sense! You told me too! You said something like, "Oh yeah, you can text me, no one texts me anyway, my phone is so quite." And I was so stupid to believe that it was because you missed me. No, it was because you needed to feel wanted or something, huh?
You know what, whatever. I'm not angry or anything. I'm more upset with myself. Have a fun day at the movies or the mall or whatever the hell you're doing today. All that matters is you're having fun and not thinking about little 'ole me, right?
